Rarely am I the one behind the camera. Lucas is a self-trained but talented photography hobbyist. Madison took a photography class last year and started trying to teach me that those buttons on our camera actually do something. I’m just an aim-and-snap girl when it comes to pictures.
So you’d think I’d be in tons of photos, right? Wrong, surprisingly. And of the ones that I make an appearance in I like very few. For me to produce a “good picture” of myself for one of my many online profiles (think Facebook and writing communities) is a hard task.
Madison wanted to come to my rescue. She’d do my make-up, my hair, and supply the wardrobe for an impromptu backyard photo shoot. Surely there would be at least one usable pic for Gravatar. I jumped at the chance.
Problem #1 Anything coming anywhere near my eyes is perceived as an imminent threat and my eyes close up like Fort Knox. So the make-up session, not so smooth. Problem #2 When it came to styling my hair I had to remind Madison I’m a 36 year-old mother, not a teenage girl with thick, curly locks. Problem #3 As soon as she produced my proposed outfit I said, “You want me to wear that?”
Here’s the story behind the dress: it belongs to Madison’s friend. She has this circle of friends that open their closets and share their wardrobes like sisters. (Or rather, like sisters who share. When I was Madison’s age it was a stealth mission to sneak into my older sister’s bedroom and come out with a pair of shorts.) There was a recent swap and a multicolored maxi dress was what she got in exchange for a mini sleeveless dress.
“Why don’t I just wear something of mine?” I said.
Madison wouldn’t negotiate. “No, come on. This will be cute.”
Cute? I like funky. I like wild. But I can’t say I really like this dress. For me anyway. However, I wanted to be a good sport and I appreciated what she was trying to do for me. Resigned, I put it on. Madison wanted to tie the straps in a bow on the front but no way was I wearing that thing strapless. Like two thin pieces of fabric going up around my neck make the dress more modest, but somehow it made me more comfortable.
When we uploaded the pictures Madison was full of praises. “You look good in this one.” “I like how you’re smiling here.” “See this? You could totally use this one.” For all of her flattery and effort, I found fault in all of them.
You should see the pictures I deleted. Final analysis: back to the drawing board. I’m hoping Madison will be willing work with me again. I’m not the easiest subject to work with, as I’m sure she could attest to. Let me tell you, I was so not cut out to model. No wonder God made me 5’3″.