My big PeeWee surprise

PeeWee's Big HolidayPeeWee’s Big Adventure is on Netflix. My husband recently put it on for the kids and and I was happy they enjoyed watching it. I’m an 80′s girl at heart. I remember when PeeWee’s ridiculous dance to “Tequila” made me smile and his trademark laugh was oddly endearing to me. I get sentimental about that neon decade of leg warmers so I like it when I can share a piece of it with my children.

Yesterday I found PeeWee’s Big Holiday was out. It’s a made-for-Netflix film to reprise the original and probably rekindle Paul Reubens’ career. I suggested that my kids watch it when they were looking for something besides Henry Danger reruns. They liked the other movie so they were excited. I was too… for a chance at some free time. I got on my laptop and half-watched the movie over my screen. It wasn’t grabbing my attention. The opening scene showed PeeWee and an alien exchanging friendship bracelets, which turns out to be a dream. But I did notice this: Paul Reubens hasn’t aged a day since the 80s so I’m guessing he sleeps in a cryogenic chamber. Or he has really good genes. Or I need the number of his plastic surgeon.

Then PeeWee goes to work at a diner and he makes someone a milkshake and then he gets on a motorcycle. I don’t know. I don’t care. But then he’s in VW Bug headed to New York City because reasons. Then three busty bank robbers, who he thinks are hitchhikers, squeeze into his small car and end up taking him to a motel room and tying him up while they decide what to do with him. Suddenly, there’s cops outside the room. The girls scramble to hide the money and one opens the door. The cops, who look suspiciously brawny even for a movie, announce that the girls are under arrest… for being too hot. They tear off their uniforms to reveal speedos underneath and I just managed to turn the movie off as a pillow fight was starting.

This movie is rated PG. No dash 13. Just PG. I literally have no idea what happens next but no. Just no. Call me a prude but PeeWee wasn’t exactly having the time of adventure I seem to remember him having. I have no idea what happened next but I wasn’t about to let my four and six year-olds watch and find out.

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