This week I read Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters by Brian Donovan because it sounded funny and for some reason bad date stories are highly entertaining if they’re not your own. So, are you single? And you don’t have a date this weekend? Read this book and you’ll be glad you’re at home in your cow pattern pajamas eating chocolate ice cream while searching for a movie on NetFlix. (You’re welcome.)
Now I’m reading Jenny Lawson’s Let’s Pretend this Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir, which has been on my to-read list for awhile. I could recommend this book to a lot of people. For instance, if you had an embarrassing experience in school, like sitting in ketchup while wearing white shorts, then you should read this because then you will just be glad your family’s wild turkeys never followed you to school… and came inside… and pooped all over the place… and then the principal called your father to come clean up their mess… and all of your friends saw him cleaning up turkey poop and calling them by name as he shooed them out, “JENKINS, GO HOME!” See what I mean? Ketchup on your butt isn’t sounding so bad now, is it?
Here’s some other stuff that interested me this week:
— Another creative Dad who can fix missing knobs
— Their offices almost make you want to work for Facebook
— Woman’s embarrassing picture went viral
— What 2,000 calories looks like
— “Carrie” trailer recut with “Cinderella” footage
— JFK assassination exhibit. Next month marks the 50th anniversary of the assassination.
— If you haven’t seen it yet, this wounded soldier’s salute is worth watching
— Tweets that made me smile:
I was invited to a wedding, so I’am trying to find out who the caterer is to see if I want to go.
— C’est la vie (@Robert_Beau) October 14, 2013
Two weeks in an airport car park will remind your car that if it wanted to be invited on holiday, it should have learnt to fly.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) October 17, 2013
What ever happened to the sixth band member, Pumpkin Spice?
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) October 16, 2013
You can make anyone’s jog look pretentious by jogging right behind them in a butler’s outfit while holding a tray of cheeses.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) October 16, 2013
It turns out a woman who sews things is called a “seamstress,” which explains why no one has answered my want ad for “Sewer Wanted.”
— Harry Ramble (@HarryRamble) October 12, 2013