Down at our Rendezvous

A blog I was reading the other day made a reference to Three’s Company. A few months ago I met a man who looked and dressed like Jack Tripper’s friend Larry. (It was all I could do not to ask if he was going to the Regal Beagle later.) In both cases the theme song got stuck in my head, except I never could understand the words.

I’m not especially bad at understanding lyrics. To this day I can do Paula Abdul’s rap from “Cold-Hearted Snake” and I know all the words to R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” which I learned in case of an emergency impromptu karaoke performance. Like if I was being chased by gun-toting thugs and escaped into a karaoke bar and had to sing because no way would they attack me on stage. While the audience gave me a standing ovation I’d slip out the back door and the bad guys would be delayed weaving through the crowd. It could happen.

Anyway, the theme song. The beginning I got: “Come and knock on our door… We’ve been waiting for you… Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three’s company too.”

Then I heard, “Come and dance on our floor… take a step at us nude…” I know “take a step at us nude” makes no sense but with all of the sexual innuendo in the show I guess I thought it fit. The rest was gibberish to me, “we’ve got all of the space that needs a face, three’s company too. You’ll be that da-da-da da-da-da calling for you. Da-na-na betty-boo. Three’s company too.”

If that song was going to be in my head then I needed to know the right words. So I Googled it and I can’t believe I didn’t do that the day Google was invented because that was seriously bugging me. The mistaken lyrics are actually, “Come and dance on our floor… take a step that is new… We’ve a lovable space that needs your face, three’s company too. You’ll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you. Down at our rendez-vous… Three’s company too.”

If you know me well then you know exactly where I went with this next… What’s a schlemiel and schlimazel? Is Hassenfeffer Incorporated an actual business? You guys, I’m going to clear up the mystery of the Laverne & Shirley theme song for you right now. The beginning is an American-Yiddish hopscotch chant. A schlemiel is an inept clumsy person. A schlimazel is a chronically unlucky person. Think of it like this: a schlemiel knocks over a glass of water and it lands in the shlimazel’s lap. Hassenfeffer isn’t a corporation. It’s a German stew made with rabbit meat, onions, and wine. Ew.

Now you’ll have this information in case you’re ever a contestant on a quiz show. It could happen.

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