Breaking News: Phoenix is Hot in the Summer

Excessive heat warnings are in effect for the next few days because the temperature will climb from 109° up to 114°. It will “cool off” over the weekend to 103°. However, you are advised to keep lots of water on hand if you need to be outside.

NEWS FLASH: YOU LIVE IN PHOENIX. This is the desert and it’s hot. Do we really need heat advisories? We have four temperatures. 1) Mild – this is the weather we experience when everyone else is wearing thermal underwear and shoveling their driveway. It lasts just long enough to remind us why we live here: because we can Christmas shop wearing shorts and we don’t know how to ski. The mild weather is so nice we’re even willing to put up with snowbirds.  2) Then we have Hot. This is the prevailing temperature in Phoenix. From there it just gets 3) Hotter and 4) Hottest. You know that blast of heat you get when you open the oven to take out a batch of cookies? On our hottest days that’s what it feels like to open your front door. It’s too hot to even go swimming and Christians start repenting because if this is Phoenix then what must the heat feel like in Hell? It’s safer to just come out at night.

 

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