Who likes a Drama Queen? Not me. I didn’t want to be a bummer on your Friday afternoon while you’re looking forward to the weekend – sleeping in, book club, lunch with your best gal pals. But, I also didn’t want to completely ignore this past week’s inconveniences that kept me from my blog. My first thought was some childlike illustrations à la Parenting, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures would be the right medium to express my tragedy with some comedy. Unfortunately, I found out I’m
not very good incompetent at Paint and my drawing skills are worse than those mocked by Maddox. So, here is an abstract picture meant to capture just the highlights of my drama last week:
Does this artwork stir your emotions? Does it capture the jarring impact as the teenage boy crushed my back bumper in a parking lot? Can you feel the joyous relief when I learn my unborn baby girl is unharmed and has a healthy heartbeat in the 140s? Do you hear the instrumental melodies as I wait on hold with the auto insurance company? Can you taste the crunchy taco dinner that left me with a cracked tooth? Can you feel my sadness from learning a house we’d been interested in is sold? Yeah, I thought so.
Now on to what made me laugh:
• Madison scares easily. Poor girl wouldn’t last two minutes on Fear Factor. Couple that with her gullibility and she might as well walk around with a target on her back. Recently we were in the car and I tricked her into thinking she was about to get wet when we drove past some sprinklers. That was nothing compared to her genuine reaction to a bumblebee buzzing around the car while we were parked at a red light. She startled, squealed, curled into a ball and yelled, “Aaaaaack! A BEE!” After laughing until my stomach hurt I’m like, “The windshield is solid, Madison.”
• Catnap. For non-parents, this is exactly what sleeping with children is like.
• Done in 30 Minutes with the kids versus WITHOUT them. Another NickMom gem.
• My friend’s Facebook status: “Last night I told my twins they could be anything they want when they grow up. Hannah announced she wants to be a Daddy. Abbie announced she wants to be an M&M. A red one.”
• 1984 Realized. (Thanks, Luke.)
Hope your week was less eventful and even funnier than mine. Have a great weekend… and watch out for those teenage drivers!