Video Killed the Lazy Mom

When people ask me what my husband does for a living my knee jerk answer is, “He’s a Computer Guy. ” If I sense they want more detail I try to expand. “He’s a computer guru.” That’s true, he’s very good at what he does and he’s smart – smarter than me or I would be able to put into words exactly how he earns a paycheck. But guru still doesn’t seem to explain so I sometimes add, “He’s a Programmer.” He does program and I mostly know what that means.

When I was younger I thought I wanted to marry a masseuse so I could always get a good back rub. Turns out, marrying a C.G. is infinitely better because it’s like free 24-hour access to your personal Geek Squad. As an added bonus, my C.G. also gives back rubs. What luck!

His technical savvy also translates to video cameras. Santa Claus gave us a nice one this past year. Now here’s the weird thing:  I have an expensive scientific calculator that I used for some college classes. I knew it was capable of interfacing with my laptop, playing games, and even connecting with other similar calculators to upload graphs, formulas, etc. I never would have guessed that you can connect my calculator with our video camera so that it can be programmed to take pictures at 15-second intervals, thereby filming a time-lapse video. Somehow my C.G. accomplished such an amazing feat.

I’m proud of him but I don’t know that I fully support his new hobby as videographer. His first film, An Evening with the Choates, is now featured on his Facebook page. Ironically, what I find objectionable is not that this is an invasion of privacy. (I suppose I could object to this. An observant viewer will spot a stain on the carpet, for one thing.) It’s what the video reveals that bothers me. My entire “performance” is done while I lay on the couch cozyed up with my pink laptop, Cheez-Its and Coke within arm’s reach. What does this say about me? One word comes to mind: lazy.

If someone were following you around with a camera, what would you do differently? I’m not talking about using a tissue instead of just your finger. (But if you do that… Ew.) I’m talking about how you would spend your time, because when get down to it that really means how you would spend your life. Would you really want to watch as much TV? Would it really be important to you what place you held in the Bejeweled Blitz tournament? (I can’t help it. I’ll stay up a little later if I think I can beat my high score.)

An Evening With the Choates really convicted me. If nothing else it’s served as a reminder to me that life is short. I need to get off the couch.

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