This is the kind of random conversation that would be captured for audiences:

Me:  I just used the word “indeed” in casual conversation with you.

Lucas:  So? I use it.

Me:  It probably makes us geeks.

Lucas:  Yeah, you’re right. After a brief pause:  I should have said “indeed.” Or, indubitably.

Me:  What?

Lucas:  Indubitably.

Me:  Is that even a real word?

Lucas:  Yes.

Me:  What does it mean?

Lucas:  Undoubtedly.

Me:  That’s probably not a real word.

Lucas:  It is. GOOGLE IT.

Me:  Fine, I will. How do you spell it?

Lucas:  I-N-D-U-B… Start with that.

Me:  (on my computer)  I can’t find it.

Lucas:  If it’s in there, it is. If it isn’t, it isn’t. I don’t care.

Me:  Gees, get all mad about it now.

Lucas:  What? I was just totally not mad about it.

Me:  You’re like, “I DON’T CARE.” Whatever.

Lucas:  No, I’m just saying I don’t care.

Me:  Well, I just found it.

Just then Madison came into the room and blurted out a random comment about Farrah from Teen Mom. News of the young mother’s X-rated escapades must have hit Tumblr.

Madison: Farrah from Teen Mom is a porn star?!

Me:  Yeah.

Madison:  I wonder what her mom thinks of that!

Lucas:  Her Dad negotiated her contract.

Me:  Can you imagine? What was the wording of that contract? “Must be willing to show va-jay-jay.”

Madison:  Eww.

Lucas:  (using his Smartphone)  Here it is! It’s I-N-D-U-B-I-T-A-B-L-Y.

Madison:  Wait, is that her porn star name?!

Me:  Noooooo. He was spelling “indubitably.”

Madison:  Why?

Me: Different conversation. Anyway, Lucas, I know. Didn’t you just hear me tell you I found it online?

Lucas:  No.

Me:  Well, I did.

Lucas:  I don’t think Americans use that word very much.

Me:  Why?

Lucas:  I usually hear it in a British context.

Me:  Meaning…?

Lucas:  The British speakers I listen to say things like “bugger-all” and “indubitably.”

Me:  Ah.

Lucas:  So I only hear “indubitably” when I’m listening or thinking in a British context.

Me:  Wait, you think in a British context?

Lucas:  Yeah, sometimes.

Me:  What the heck does that even mean?

Lucas:  So, I’m going to explain the inner workings of my mind here?

Me:  Yeah, you’re right. Forget it.

Confession: I am totally failing at potty training Hudson. He said to me yesterday, ”Could you please change my diaper? It’s about to explode off my butt.” It was actually wet and sagging but nowhere near ready to detonate.

If you’re new to this blog, Hudson is my three year-old son who will be turning four in July. He is a sweet, curious, and funny kid who is extremely smart. He can read his own potty training book, for goodness sake, but he isn’t bothered in the slightest by sitting with a big, stinky turd in his pants.

Everyone warned me that “boys are harder to potty train than girls.” I accepted this fact as a fair trade-off for not having to deal with PMS when he hits thirteen. What people should have said to me was, “Prepare yourself because you have no idea what you’re in for.”

I have potty trained exactly two mammals before Hudson. The first was a puppy I adopted when I was nineteen years old and living in my first apartment. That was a disaster. Let’s just say that when I moved into my second apartment, I was still putting newspaper down in the bathroom. When it comes to potty training, I think every dog lover would have to concede that CATS ARE EASIER.

My second potty training experience was with my oldest child, Madison, and she went to daycare so I had a whole support staff five days a week helping to remind her to use the potty like a big girl. She transitioned from diapers to Pull-Ups to underwear in no time. In that regard she was like a cat and Hudson, well, he’s like that puppy who kept peeing in my closet.

But, look. Hudson can fold paper airplanes. He’s so proud of himself.

You’re probably thinking back to your own experiences with potty training and you probably have some advice for me. I’ve tried reward charts. I’ve tried buying cool underwear. I’ve tried reminding him and setting him on the potty when he wakes up and before he goes to sleep. We have had successes. It’s not like he’s never used the potty. There’s just too many accidents and I keep finding myself buying size 5 diapers. So, go ahead. Let me hear what worked for you. I’m willing to try just about anything.

I was playing around in Google Analytics yesterday and discovered a good portion of my audience lives in New York. WHAT’S UP, EMPIRE STATE?!

I’ve never been to New York even though I’ve always wanted to go. Is it as exciting and glamorous as some of my favorite television shows and movies make it out to be? Does Sarah Jessica Parker walk around shopping all day looking gorgeous? Does Newman deliver your mail?

Since I’m not planning a vacation this summer, or even a staycation, I’m taking a faux-cation to New York and here is my itinerary:

1.  See a performance at Carnegie Hall.

2.  Eat dessert at Serendipity 3

3.  Visit the Empire State Building

4.  Walk around Central Park.

5.  Ice skate at Rockefeller Center

6.  Act like a total tourist in Times Square

7.  Become best friends with Sarah Jessica Parker. What are the chances we have the same shoe size? I bet she’d totally give me her hand-me-downs.

If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?

Those of you living in other states where it actually cools off at night can’t understand that it gets too hot to swim in Phoenix. When it’s 120° going swimming is liking taking a bath outside. We have to take advantage of a day like today, which is “tolerable heat.”

Madison took a break from Tumblr and all of her many social engagements to take her little brother swimming. She even put “sunscream” on him first.

How did he repay her for this? By spraying her in the face with a hose. He loves her madly but he’s still her little brother and with that title comes the job of sufficiently annoying the crap out of her on a daily basis.

I’m sitting inside with the air conditioner on and I still want to dive right into that picture of clear, cool water.

August is coming, Phoenicians. AUGUST IS COMING.

So, I was trying to have a conversation with my husband. When I say trying I don’t mean we were on cell phones and had a bad connection or that he just wasn’t paying attention to me. What I mean is Lucas and I were standing in the kitchen and Hudson was bugging us about going to Chuck E. Cheese. I needed a distraction and what’s a good go-to distraction? Television.

I switched the channel to Nickelodeon, expecting Spongebob and instead it was Sanjay and Craig. Have you seen this show? It’s weird and a little edgy for kids. Or am I a prude? The premise is Sanjay, a twelve year-old boy, has a best friend named Craig, who happens to be his talking pet snake. Lots of butt jokes and innuendos that go over kids’ heads.

Then Lucas showed me Dumb Ways to Die, a dark-humored but catchy tune about death by inviting a psycho killer inside or scratching a drug dealer’s brand new ride.

Just when I was wondering what cartoons are coming to, I remembered watching Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry. That’s what Saturday mornings were for when I was a kid: eating sugary cereal and watching animated violence.

“Listen to this song,” Madison, my teenage daughter, said to me.

Immediately, I recognized the tune as “Boombastic” by Shaggy. I said, “Yeah, I know it. I have it on my iPod.”

Her eyes widened in horror and disbelief. “I don’t like that you know this song.”

Teenagers are funny people. They can’t conceive of their parents being real people with real lives and their own taste in music. Now, when I told Madison I had the opportunity to review the new Michael Bublé album, To Be Loved, she was excited and said, “Mom, you have to give it a good review.”

My turn to be surprised we knew the same music: “You’ve heard it?!”

“No, not yet but he’s HOT.” So there you have it. To Be Loved is good because Michael Bublé is hot. Let’s just put that review on Amazon and call it a day. While we’re at it, let’s send out a memo to men in general… “ATTN SINGLE, DESPERATE MEN: Women love a man in suit. Forget about updating your match.com profile. Get to the nearest Men’s Wearhouse and see for yourself what a little tailored Calvin Klein can do for you. A sexy accent doesn’t hurt either. You’re welcome.”

Seriously though, he’s not just good-looking, he’s humble too. Says Grammy winner Bublé, “Do not think I take my success these last ten years for granted. I was anything but an overnight sensation, which inspires me to deliver big time for my fans.” And deliver he does with To Be Loved, a fantastic collection of covers and four original songs. “I labored over every song, every note and every arrangement,” he says, “because I can’t resist trying to make each record better than my last one.”

Disney fans will enjoy his version of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” and if you like Sinatra you won’t be disappointed by Bublé’s rendition of “Young at Heart.”

My favorite track is “It’s a Beautiful Day.” If you’re going through a bad break-up (like Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart AGAIN) then I totally recommend watching the official video here. I dare you not to be cheered up by the chorus: “It’s a beautiful day and I can’t stop myself from smiling, if we’re drinking then I’m buying, and I know there’s no denying it’s a beautiful day…”

Need one more reason to checkout To Be Loved? Watch Michael Bublé’s adorable a cappella performance of “Who’s Lovin’ You” in the NYC Subway here. If that doesn’t endear him to you, nothing will.

Buy To Be Loved on iTunes or Amazon today.

DISCLOSURE: I participated in this campaign for One2One Network. I received a free copy of the album to facilitate my review. By posting, I am eligible for incentives. All opinions stated are my own.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of White Cloud Diapers. All opinions shared are my own.

Last week I attended the White Cloud Diapers Playdate Event at Encanto Park with ten local bloggers. WalMart provided tons of tasty snacks and cold drinks that we enjoyed while making introductions and visiting. Hudson made a little friend too.

We played a couple of fun baby shower games, first competing to see who could drink a bottle the fastest. Let me tell you moms, I now realize how hard our babies work to drink those things. My mouth was sore after sucking barely two ounces! It was a toss up for who most enjoyed the second game, Guess What’s in the Diaper. The kids peeked inside each of the eight diapers filled with a spoonful of baby food, crinkled their noses and said, “Yuck!” But they loved it because for some reason kids think gross stuff is funny and us moms, well, it takes more than “poopy” diapers to gross us out.

Afterward, the kids got a chance to enjoy the playground. The weather cooperated to make it especially nice to be outdoors. Hudson was so proud to climb up to the slide all by himself!

Before the day was over we got a chance to learn more about White Cloud Diapers. Admittedly, I was skeptical. I’ve been loyal to a premium brand for all three of my children. You get what you pay for, right? I’ve bought a cheaper brand before, only to deal with messy leaks and lots of laundry. I haven’t found that to be the case with White Cloud Diapers. Their inner core is ultra absorbent, helping keep babies dry and in my experience a dry baby is a happy baby. Diapers for newborns and wee ones in Size 1 and 2 also have a quilted inner liner, keeping them comfortable and providing extra protection against mess.

White Cloud Diapers are hypoallergenic and fragrance-free, which is great for babies with sensitive skin. The timing for me to try out these diapers couldn’t have been better. My one year-old, Jolie, had a bad diaper rash so I was relieved to put something pure and soft on her sore bottom. They’re cottony soft on the inside and out and their stretchy sides ensure a secure but comfy fit.

You can buy White Cloud Diapers at WalMart for an everyday low price without sacrificing the convenience of premium brands with your savings. They have the wetness indicator that changes color on their Newborn, Size 1 and 2 diapers.

I’m making the switch to White Cloud Diapers. They had me at fragrance-free. The low cost is an added benefit. I’ll take that money I save and treat myself to a pedicure. Just don’t tell my husband. Let him think I’m spending all that time at the grocery store.

I’d like to say a special thank you to WalMart, who really went above and beyond to make it a fun event for all of us. And now a word from them…

Diapering can be one of the biggest expenses in a family’s weekly budget and a great performing diaper is a must-have for parents. In order to make this affordable, Wal-Mart has reintroduced their premium line of White Cloud diapers to address the needs of today’s busy parents.

White Cloud Diapers provide your baby the highest quality diaper with superior leakage protection, exceptional softness and great fit. White Cloud Diapers are available exclusively at Walmart, where you can find low prices everyday on all your family’s needs. Check them out today!

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of #WhiteCloudDiapers.

Nothing goes with being grounded like watching The Breakfast Club. That was true for my generation and I’m glad it’s still true for gen-Y. Except when they watch it they don’t have to rewind a tape or watch the edited version with commercials. (Like everyone doesn’t know John Bender has weed.) The irony of watching high school kids in Saturday detention while I was actually grounded was totally lost on me.

So anyway, Madison was grounded and she’d been pouting hanging out in her room all day watching movies on her computer. Then we all had to go somewhere and we had the following conversation in the car:

Madison: You guys interrupted me in the middle of watching The Breakfast Club.

Lucas: When I was your age, Madison, not only did we have to go to Blockbuster to rent a movie on VHS, but we didn’t have a VCR. So we had to rent a TV/VCR combo also. I remember watching it like eight times in one day. I used to be so in love with that girl.

Madison: Which one?

Me: Molly Ringwald?

Madison: Who is she?

Me:  The princess.

Lucas: No, not her. I mean the other one.

Me: Ally Sheedy?

Madison: Which one is she?

Me: The weird one. The dark-haired girl.

Madison: Ew!

Lucas: Just wait. She blows that other girl out of the water.

Me: No way. Molly Ringwald is so much prettier.

Lucas: Not even. Just wait until you get to the end, Madison. (to me) I was the same way with Mary Stuart Masterson.

Me: Who?

Lucas: Mary Stuart Masterson. The drummer chick from Can’t Buy Me Love.

Madison: I’m going to watch that too!

Me: (to Lucas) You’re thinking of Some Kind of Wonderful. (to Madison) I saw Can’t Buy Me Love in theaters when I was in SIXTH GRADE. I’m glad to know the classics aren’t dead.

Lucas: Have you gotten to the part where they smoke weed yet?

Madison: No.

Melissa: You know, I always had to watch it on TV. They never show that part.

Madison: I know they dance. I saw it on a preview.

Lucas: Did you know Molly Ringwald was supposed to dance by herself but she was so embarrassed they made everyone do it?

Melissa: Really? That’s funny.

Lucas: Have you gotten to the part where he says “Neo-maxi zoomdweebie?”

Madison: No. Who says it?

Me: John Bender.

Madison: Who’s he?

Me: The criminal guy.

Lucas: Neo-maxi zoomdweebie. Didn’t he just make that up?

Me: Yes.

Lucas: On the spot?

Me: I don’t know.

Lucas: Have you gotten to the part where she does her trick yet?

Madison: Who?

Me: Molly Ringwald. THE PRINCESS.

Madison:Gees! You don’t have to yell. What does she do?

Lucas: You have to watch it.

Madison: Tell me.

Lucas: It’s a visual thing.

Madison: TELL ME!

Me: She puts her lipstick between her breasts, leans over, and puts her lipstick on. There. Now you know.

Madison: (demonstrating) Like this?

Me: (to Madison) YES. (to Lucas) I wonder how many girls watched that and actually tried it.

Lucas: Probably an entire generation of girls.

Me: I didn’t. Oh my gosh! Am I the only one?

And people, I did go to camp in seventh grade. We didn’t do that. We did, however, eat copious amounts of Fudgesicles and spend most of the time looking for a date to the banquet held on the last night of camp. My date looked like Matthew Lawrence. Totally better than learning how to put on lipstick with my breasts.

I never read 50 Shades of Grey but after watching a bit of Jodi Arias on the witness stand I feel like I have. Did you think she was ever going to be done testifying? She and her crooked finger sat there day after day trying to explain how she grabbed the gun (“in self-defense”) and it went off accidentally (“when Travis lunged”). Anyone else think she stole Roxie Hart‘s defense?

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
For the gun!

I keep waiting for her expert witness (“Dr. Fog”) to declare Jodi Arias’ actions are “understandable, understandable, yes it’s perfectly understandable, comprehensible, comprehensible, not a bit reprehensible, it’s so defensible!”

This whole trial is happening in downtown Phoenix. If I hopped on the freeway I could be there in twenty minutes but I won’t because a) I don’t have that kind of time, b) I’m not that interested and c) seriously, who has that kind of time? I’ll watch it on HLN like everyone else. And maybe check Twitter (#jodiarias).

The Prosecutor should implore the Judge to consider regarding “Discovery”, that #JodiArias might be ‘sitting on’ some crucial Evidence!!

— DoctorGooFee (@DoctorGooFee) March 20, 2013

Jodi Arias is innocent. There’s no way someone with brown hair and glasses could murder someone.

— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) March 19, 2013

#jodiariasAt this point, the Jury probably won’t put more weight on Doc Fog’s testimony than it would take to break that closet shelf.

— DoctorGooFee (@DoctorGooFee) March 20, 2013

JM: Dr. Fog, were you crying while you were faking the test? Were you crying while #jodiarias was lying to you?Take a look then.

— Erin Murray (@ErinMurray99) March 19, 2013

I want someone to hire 2 real ninjas and just have them sit in the back of the courtroom like statues #jodiarias

— Angela (@angiestweeting) March 18, 2013

Hudson had been asking to go to the carnival. Not a specific carnival, just any carnival. Lucas happened to spot one while driving across town so we took Hudson last weekend. I’m surprised he enjoyed this kiddie ride because he loved the spinning strawberries and the Tornado, which is probably as nauseating as it sounds. I wouldn’t know because if I had ridden it I’d still have vertigo. One day Hudson is going to beg me to take him to Knotsberry Farm and complain that their roller coasters aren’t scary enough.

When it comes to any kind of amusement park, all I can say is thank God for big sisters. They will go through the fun house with you again and again, even though they get zapped in the butt from all the static electricity on the slide. So thanks, Madison. Thanks for caring about your brother having fun more than getting frizzy hair and a sore butt.